12 Tips for Writing Your Own Vows

Writing your own vows can be an amazing way to show your love for your fiance. At the same time, it can be intimidating and scary. If you feel that way, you might consider writing your own vows. Or even just part of them.  Here are some tips based on what our teachers and mentors have taught us and combined with seeing some great vows in person.

  1. Speak from your heart.
    1. This is the most important writing tip.  It applies to all of your writing.  It requires you to be brave and say exactly what you feel in your heart.  The biggest block to this is fear.  Fear of looking silly.  Fear that what you have to say is trivial.  Fear of the unknown.
  2. Don’t be afraid.
    1. You are surrounded by all of your friends and family that love and support you.  They are there for you in your good times and bad times.  Rest assured that everyone is rooting for you.
  3. Think about all the things you love about your fiance.
    1. Say all the big things you love about them.  Say all the little things you love about them.  Your fiance will feel awesome to hear you say it even if they know it.  The more specific you are, the closer it is to your heart.  This is the kind of thing that people connect to.
  4. Remember the meaning of the word “vow”
    1. A vow is a solemn promise.  In your vows, state the solemn promises you make to your fiance.
  5. It’s ok to be emotional.
    1. Of all the days in your life, this is one day where you might get a little emotional.  It is an amazing time in your life.  Whatever you feel is the right feeling.  Don’t worry about your emotions showing.  Your fiance,  friends, and family will love your for it.
  6. It’s ok if you’re not emotional.
    1. Whatever you feel is the right feeling.  Don’t have any expectations of how you should feel.  It’s all good.  Everyone is different.  Some brides are cool and calm.  Some are excited.  Some grooms want to make sure everything goes perfectly.
  7. It’s ok to read your vows.
    1. Write out your vows.  Practice a few times.  And it is ok to write them out and read them.
  8. Practice your vows but don’t feel the need to memorize.
    1. It’s a good idea to practice reading your vows.  This way it will come off your tongue naturally.  If you try to memorize them, you might forget a line.
  9. Consider reading your vows out loud to your bridal party, close friends, and/or family.
    1. They might be able to give you insight as to how it sounds.  And if you’re lucky they might add in a joke or two.
  10. Let your personality shine through.
    1. Write in your own voice.  Don’t feel like you need to make it formal or fancy.  Some of the best writers in the world, write in plain and simple sentences.
  11. Consider printing or taping your vows to a nice piece of colored paper that matches your theme.
    1. While it is ok to have your vows on a folded piece of paper that was in your pocket.  It will add to the look and feel of your wedding if your vows are presented by your officiant to you on nice paper stock.
  12. Don’t copy other vows online.
    1. Or only copy a little bit.

Writing your own vows can be a great thing.  You will be happy that you did it.  Plus, they help to make great wedding videos!

Here’s an example of some vows we filmed:

 

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